No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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