then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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