Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
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I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
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The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
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