I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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