our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im calling her cock vulture from now on
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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