I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Randomize