we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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