just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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