Betty ford says i'm here all night
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize