dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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