I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize