I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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