i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Randomize