Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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