since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
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I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
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For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize