I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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