just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize