I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
My room smells like vodka and shame
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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