you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
there is puke in my bra ... again
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
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