the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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