Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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