I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
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