God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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