i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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