I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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