i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
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