I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
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i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
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