saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
she woke up with a sticky ear
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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