i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I wish i was in the wii world.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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