Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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