Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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