i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
even my farts smell like vagina
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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