I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Randomize