I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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