how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
two words...techno handjob
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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