seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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