dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
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