I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I am puke
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize