I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
cat food counts as protein by the way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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