I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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