so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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