I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
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i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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