So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Did I show you my penis last night?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
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I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
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I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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