Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
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