If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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