I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
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