I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
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i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
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The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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