So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
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