Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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