just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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